Not at all.
And the one person who I care about more than anyone else, ditched out on 2 "going away parties" hosted by my parents. The one yesterday was a surprise and apparently they invited a bunch of my family and friends, and nobody showed up. I felt bad, because my mom cooked for so many people and there was nobody to eat it. But Heather did show up, and I hadn't talked to her in months because she didn't like a few of my choices, but she actually came with Juri, and I was so happy to see her. So that was nice!
Anyway, I'm extremely depressed right now. I have not felt this low in ... a long, long time. I don't want to leave today. But it's too late now. This plane ride is going to be brutal, this first week is going to be brutal, but hopefully it gets better. I'm going to be a fucking wreck. But people here, they really suck. I will be better off... If only I could see her one last time. But I just screwed that up... I'm so fucking bitter and depressed, ughh I hate my life.
6 hours until I leave everything behind.
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2 comments:
Hey you, long time no talk. I guess you don't use livejournal anymore? Thats how I used to keep myself up to date on what was going on with you :P
It seems everyone's fleeing the country. A couple of my friends are backpacking through Europe for 2.5 months. A lot of people I knew were living in Toronto, and now they're all gone back to Oshawa, Whitby, Ajax. BLAH. So what made you decide to go to Holland? Just one of those things you said, "Fuck it, I'm not going to THINK about it, I'm actually going to DO IT"? You're taking care of a couple little girls? How long do you think you'll be over there?
Well, I hope you have a great time, and you learn, and hopefully it becomes one of those things that changes you, but for the better. Good luck, I'll check back in the near future!
- Jess
Actually, I use livejournal more than this thing! :)
ummm.... well, my friends thought it would be a fun thing to do! A new experience. They both backed out, and I said "fuck it, I'm still going!" and I left.
It's very different here and will take some getting used to (as I've only been here since Monday) so hopefully it all works out for me!
Yeah. Luna is 5, and Bella is 2. I'll be here for 6 months, at least.
And thanks alot! If you ever want to visit, let me know!
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