They make me see that you're the one

So what's happened since my last post? Hm. Well the ladies and I had a great time at Kristy's going away party in Amsterdam. Most of the night is a blur but Coco's Outback is one of the best pubs I've ever set foot in. She's back in Australia now and even though we weren't that close, she was an awesome girl and the times we shared were nothing but fun! 

Amy leaves on Monday for Australia. She got kicked out after her house family found out, and would rather just go home then find another job here. I'm really going to miss her, she's like my long lost twin! We are so similar and have so much fun together. That really is the hardest part about this job, meeting so many people that you connect with and love, and then they all leave. It's fucking rough. 

The weather has been so lovely. Sunny, warm, I love it. Makes living just that much easier. Shitty weather depresses me.

Never felt this way in my whole life

Never had this feeling before tonight

I can't get you off my mind

Cause you shine, girl

Oh you know you shine

What's going on?

I'm absolutely gutted.

I guess, for the most part, things have been okay lately. My Aussie friend and I went out a few weekends ago and got stupid drunk, and then got pulled over by the police. Fuckin' sweet! I have the worst judgement ever and I'm a horrible friend. When will I ever smarten the fuck up? Seriously. I guess it's better that than a car crash, but still... I need to stop being such an idiot when I'm drunk. I actually didn't drink this weekend that just passed, because of that incident. No wait, I lie, I had a couple glasses of wine on Friday night in my backyard with my friend and my house mom. 

Amsterdam next Saturday for another Aussie friends going away bash, and I do plan on getting stupid drunk, once again. I need it. Am I turning into an alcoholic? I wonder. I'd hate to take the same path that so many of my family members took. I'm better than that aren't I? 

Aren't  I?

Just over 5 months until I'm home. Thank fucking God. Although I'll probably hate it about a month after I'm home and peace out once again soon after that... But I'm planning on staying within North America so at least I won't be so far from home. 

I really don't know what's gotten into me. It's not even like I have a shitty life. My life is good. I'm living in another country, the family that I live and work for is incredible, the friends I have here are great, I have family and friends back home that love me.

Twenty-five years and my life is still

Trying to get up that great big hill of hope

For a destination

And I realized quickly when I knew I should

That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man

For whatever that means

And so I cry sometimes

When I'm lying in bed

Just to get it all out

What's in my head

And I am feeling a little peculiar

And so I wake in the morning 

And I step outside

And I take a deep breath and I get real high

And I scream at the top of my lungs

What's going on?