Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Food for thought.

I did not write this - 

I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be in the long term benefits of life. Sunscreen has been proven by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no reliable source except my own experience, I will dismiss this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, well nevermind, you will never understand the beauty and power of your youth till you are older. But trust me in 20 years or so you will look back on photos of yourself and you can't grasp that, how much possibility laid before you, and how fabulous you really looked. 
You are not as fat as you ever imagined, or as you ever told yourself. Don't worry about the future.  Worrying is about as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life have to be the things that never crossed your worried mind. Do one thing everyday that scares you, sing? Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Don't waste your time on jealousy, sometimes you're already ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long but in the end it's only with yourself. For every compliment that has been seen, forget the insult. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life, the most interesting people I know at 22 didn't know what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't. Take plenty of calcium, be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, your choices will always be there, so will everyone elses. Enjoy your body and use it anyway you can, don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you will ever own. Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read directions even if you don't follow them. Do not read magazines they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings they are the best friends of your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, so don't hold on unless you have that gut feeling. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. You will get old, and when you do you will fantasize about when you were young, prices were reasonable, polititians were noble, children respected their elders. Don't expect anyone else to support you, maybe you'll have a trust fund. Don't mess around too much with your hair. If so by the time you're 40 it will look like it's 85. Be careful who's advice you abide by, but be patient with those who take the time. But trust me on the sunscreen.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Why can't I be what you need?

Yikes. It's been far too long. My apologies, faithful readers. Ahem. Yeah, right.. 

Yesterday was the Free Festival in Almere. OMG. Thousands of Dutch people, different stages, DJ's, different types of music, lots of alcohol and a whole lotta dancing. Way too much fun. 

Today is Luna's 6th birthday. Marielle invited me to go to dinner with them but I don't feel like sitting around listening to everyone speak Dutch and hardly understanding a damn thing. Speaking of Marielle, she's out of a job. My schedule is totally messed up now, and I don't particularly like it. She's had a couple of interviews already and hopefully she finds something soon. 

In much more exciting news - I have a trip booked to Dublin and Barcelona July 30-August 10. I cannot wait, I just really hope I'm able to save enough money by that time. But hey, at least my flights are paid for. Selby and Kirsty will be accompanying me, and hopefully we will be couchsurfing and meeting some amazing individuals along the way. 

I've been really confused as of late. Do I go back to Canada in September, and stay there for good? Get a shitty dead end job or attempt to figure out my career? Go back to school? Go back to being miserable like I was before? Or perhaps this year of living abroad will make things different? Perhaps I'll actually be happy back in Canada. Do I move elsewhere in Europe, England for example, and be an au pair there? Or should I get a place of my own, and work in a pub? Or do I stay in Holland, as an au pair for another year? There are 3 reasons I want to stay here .. and they are all human. Now, say I decide to stay here for another year, and these 3 reasons disappear out of my life, or things change, and I am no longer happy. There are so many 'What ifs?' going through my head. 

Why can't someone just make up my mind for me? 
Just tell me to stay, and I will...