In this city.

I am not entirely sure where to start this, or how to say what I need to say, or want to say. The past 6 months have been difficult at times, but for the most part, very rewarding. I've gotten the opportunity to live in another country, another continent, to meet new people and experience new cultures. To feel what it's like to live so far from home, with people you don't really know. To grow by yourself, and learn more about yourself. 

As homesick as I get sometimes, I don't think I would trade this experience for the world. Yes, it can be very hard but for the most part, the positives do outweigh the negatives, and I'm happy with that. 

I've had to deal with my beloved dog passing away the day after my 22nd birthday, and not being there to say goodbye to her, after she was so loving and faithful for the past 12 years of my life. That hurt like hell, but at least I know that she is in a better place, far better than Earth could ever be. I've had to find out that my cousin has breast cancer, which is never fun. They say she's going to be fine and I really hope she will be, because she has 3 young children at home. What an ugly disease. 

Now, just the other day, I found out one of my best friends may have cancer as well. She's always been there for me and I feel terrible that I'm not there when she needs it the most. That is the hardest part about this, being so far away and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. It kills me inside. She is such an amazing human being and I really hope that the doctors are wrong. 

About a month or so ago, I received a facebook message from a young man who I had met on a drunken night in Amsterdam. I don't recall this encounter, but like I said, I was very much under the influence of alcohol. I've only been out in Amsterdam on a few occasions and I can't, for the life of me, remember this, but what can you do? Anyway, turns out he's also Canadian and is living with his relatives here in Holland. We have yet to meet sober, but we do talk quite a bit and have become good friends. Unfortunately, a few days before we were to meet up, his father had a heart attack. I assume he wasn't very old, and it came as quite a shock. So obviously, he had to go home to be with his family. During the middle of heart surgery, his father passed away. I feel horrible for this guy, I mean, he had everything going for him, was traveling, seeing the world, and then his father is ripped from his life. Nobody deserves that and yes, I know death will come to us all, but sometimes it's so unfair and so early in one's life. I just wish, more than anything, that I could be back in Canada for him and my friend. 

I don't know how much more I can take < / 3

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You came in to my life,

You cannot separate yourself.

And I found that round here, in this city

That I won't disappear, in this city

I got nothing to fear, in this city