You actin like you don't know

...Where to begin?

Well, I'm currently working at a call centre, which is total fucking bullshit and I feel like I'm going absolutely nowhere in life.. especially with a fucking college diploma. But oh well. I have a "new" best friend, although Scott is still my best friend, he thinks I'm replacing him.. and it's killing me. Anyway, her name is Meredith and we worked together at A-Side, and are now working at the call centre together. That girl is so dangerous... ahah. All we do is get fucked up. Dollar beers every Thursday night at Le Skratch is our "thing" and we always have a blast, dancing our asses off. But the black dudes like her, and I always have to push them around. Yeah, ME, push around a black dude.. that's funny. But I would do anything for her, and no I'm not racist they just like to creep on her. But anyway, her and I have a lot of fun and I love her fucking life. But last night, she slept with an ex boyfriend of mine, two days after I did.. and I dunno. I didn't think I would care, but I guess I am a little jealous. I told her she could though, so the only person I can blame it on is myself. She feels bad though, but whatever.. Bros before hoes. She means more to me than him, obviously, and I'm not going to let something like that come between us. So that was last night...

And Sharley. Where do I even begin? I love her so much and I wish I could be with her, but I can't. I am too wild and out of control, drinking all the time and hooking up with ... too many people. I would break her fucking heart, even though I probably already did. And almost everyone knows about us, and that stuff happened between us, and she feels like a tool and I feel like the biggest bitch ever. Ugh. I really do suck at life.

I need to get away from here. Meredith, Erin and myself might move to Ireland to become Au Pairs. I hope it works out. I'm not trying to run from my problems, but I'm not going anywhere here and just getting fucked up all the time. It's pathetic. I suck.