Hey Lush, Have Fun

For the first time in my life, I think I have feelings for a woman. I guess that's what you get from hanging around two lesbians all the time. Haha, just kidding because obviously noone chooses which gender they like. It's just kind of funny. I don't know if I like her more than a friend though and I haven't known her very long at all... but I do feel like I have feelings for her. What exactly those feeling are, I could not tell you. But they're there. She's just an amazing young lady, gorgeous, with brains too. She really interests me and I want to get to know more about her. Most of the time, I can't get her out of my head, even when I'm with this boy who I guess you could call my "friend with benefits". Never thought I would have one of those in my life because I'm more of a relationship type of girl and this is the first time I've ever done something like this.

Now. Here's the confusing part. I don't want a relationship right now and I don't know whether I have feelings for my FWB. He's very attractive and lots of fun and good to talk to...also, good to fuck. But ... I don't know if all I want to be to him is a romp in the sack once in awhile, but I also don't want to be his girlfriend. Strange. I guess for now I'll just continue to do what I'm doin and have fun, because I am having fun and that's what counts.

But she... she is just amazing and beautiful and I really hope we can become good friends, if not more. But! I also don't know if I could ever be with a woman because that is so foreign to me and I'd probably be so shy and awkward around her. K.. done rambling.
I definitely have more feelings for the woman though, and I guess that's because whenever I'm with a man I feel like all I'm there for is the sex. I highly doubt it would be that way with a woman, it would be a deeper, more meaningful, spiritual connection.

I'm in Toronto and he went off to work and I decided to stay an extra night so I have the whole apartment and day to myself. What should I do?

Also, still no job. PRAY HARDER!