But I won't back down

Life sure does throw some crazy curve balls sometimes. It's like, where the hell did that come from? Or, more appropriately, where the hell did you come from? Just when I thought I had everything figured out too, now I need to take a step back. But I'm not complaining at all. For most of my teenage years I always knew that I was attracted to women, and let's face it, the female body is a million times nicer than the male body, hands down. But I never thought that I would ever have feelings for a woman. And I am still unsure of what these feelings are exactly, but I do feel a connection to her, deeper than any other connection I have ever had I think. It's strange.. I've never felt a connection with a woman, only men. And even the connections with men were unlike this. I feel like we were meant to cross each other's paths, which is obvious because everything happens for a reason... but I think this reason is... more significant? I don't really know. All I know is that I have feelings for a beautiful young woman, even if I can't comprehend them. We haven't really talked about it, but for some reason I think we are both feeling the same things. It's almost like we understand what is going on, without actually saying it. Now of course these are just my opinions and I could be very wrong but I guess we'll find out. It's like.. a new world. It's just so crazy that I find myself laughing on occasion, like who ever thought I would meet a girl and like her? She has a boyfriend though, and part of me thinks that she wouldn't ever want to have a relationship with a woman... but a part of me thinks that she is a little intrigued by it. If this were to develop into something more, I wouldn't even know where to begin. I've never kissed a girl except for a few times when I was drunk or playing spin the bottle... but that doesn't count. I just feel like we could have a lot of fun together and learn from one another... no matter what happens. But for now, I will enjoy and cherish our conversations and have fun and get to know her better, and if we can only be friends then so be it. Like I said... everything happens for a reason.

I can't stop thinking about her. I'm such a loser.